The Reality Game

Over the last few days, I've managed to effectively balance some business with pleasure. Soaking up the summer in a way I haven't been able to do in years, I'll admit that there have been some personally "redeeming" aspects to yet another summer in Wildwood. I freely admit, I love seeing the sand, surf, and sky at times as I bike about the island. If anything, I have a legacy of summertime memories and timeless recollections of life in a unique (if not somewhat harried) place.

Sometimes, "reality" kicks in and I start to wonder if I'm merely spinning my wheels around with the tried and true when there are numerous other places to be. For example, Tahoe in summer still eludes me. This is something of which my curiosity still seeks satiation. A decent livelihood must be integrated and balanced with a supportive environment. Then, add some aesthetic appreciation. This is my personal cardinal rule for overall contentment. Sure, it may sound like a luxurious and lofty goal - but surprisingly, I have had more hits than misses in fulfilling this for myself.

I have considered other possibilities that my present freedom of movement affords. Perhaps spending a couple months with Jim, Mimi, and brood before shoving off to Tahoe? Maybe an international jaunt? Or maybe just sitting tight and meditating on the spin of subatomic particles all winter while subsisting on computer repair work revenues. Hmmm. I'll let things unfold as I attempt to straddle the line between my ideal reality and the reality I am able to bring into fruition. I realize that some of these aspirations may appear to reek of some semblance of self absorption. I won't deny that...but I assure you, I have to contend with a great number of unpleasantness in existence, just like anyone else.

One such looming "reality" I am presently coming to terms with is the increasingly grave condition of my mentor and friend, Bart. For those uninitiated, Bart is approaching 94 years old, has played a pivotal role in my life for over 20 years, and has always defied the ravages of mortality and old age. That is until a few months ago, after suffering the ill effects of a fall that left him with hip and spinal injuries.

In a shade of irony, I was informed of Bart's mishap on what was perhaps one of the happiest days of my life. During a visit by my sister and some friends to Lake Tahoe back in April, I was undertaking a day of sheer enjoyment and delight. Carefree and momentarily unfettered by worldly chaos, "the gang" and I had an outstanding time touring the grandeur of The Sierras and Lake Tahoe. Basking in the awe and wonder of being in a unique place with good friends and family was a personally exceptional experience. And that occasion would have went completely unblemished...if not for the news of Bart's development.

It wasn't until a week later during our cross country exodus back east that I realized how serious Bart's injury was. During a stopover at pal Scott's abode in Wisconsin, Scott's mother, an RN, educated me on the severity of such a condition was for someone of Bart's age. I know that conventional wisdom would dictate that it should not astound me to witness such a decline in someone as advanced in age as Bart. But still...to know him is to love him, and believe me there are LOTS of people who do. Bart is one of the most unique and outstanding people you could ever possibly meet.

Despite his being almost 57 years my senior, I have always been able to relate to Bart more on a peer level than as someone far removed. I am clearly not alone in my observation as he has impacted untold lives with his charitable deeds, flashes of brilliant insightful wit, and death defying vitality.

As I previously stated in prior blogs, Bart was very active physically as well as mentally. Up until his recent mishap, he would still burst into an occasional sprint up and down his long flight of steps, perhaps for show. Also, Bart would periodically join me and some friends for dinner, biking up to the beach and boardwalk with us, usually always making some type of wry remark about a personal or political situation.

Often quite humorous and disarming, I once had compiled a number of "off the cuff" statements and quotations he had made over the years, of which I had committed to memory. About a decade ago, I transcribed these "wise words" (and sometimes wise-ass words) onto a floppy disc. This process was done using a positively archaic word processor program titled Spinnaker that was a vestige of the 80s.

I had thought that I had lost these "tomes" to oblivion as the data on the aforementioned disc became unreadable some time afterwards. However, after I performed a data recovery algorithm last year on a number of old floppies, I attained success in retrieving what was assumed lost. Such snippets along with numerous video footage I have of Bart's "antics" throughout the years (Bart always had a flair for the camera and LOVED to "perform") as well as his literary works (Bart is a writer and a poet as well) will ensure that his legacy will endure. Be assured, I have many, many memories of him that will not fade anytime soon. Somehow, I "sense" that someday I will write a memoir of my times with Bart. I have volumes of stories and accounts to express into print, be assured. It should prove (I hope) to be an interesting read.

At present, Bart has become a resident of a local convalescent center. After a brief stay in the hospital for back surgery, Bart was placed in one of the best nursing facilities in the county. Now, if you were to rudely inform me even a few months ago that Bart's fate would be enmeshed in such a place, I would have railed against it with sound and fury - not signifying nothing. However, in consideration of the severity of his situation and after paying a few visits to him, I admit I feel he is in the best possible care at present.

As reality would inform us, there are many "questionable" places of such ilk for certain. But I am reassured that Bart is safe from such a plight. The man has been a shining beacon of light, kindness, and generosity to many during his lifetime. At the very least, Bart deserves to live out his final days in peace and tranquility. I would also like to add comfort as well - but witnessing the pain he seems to be experiencing would seem to preclude that. It is indeed, painful for me to see him suffer, ever so slightly.

My visits are usually brief as Bart ofttimes seems intent on sleeping through his malaise, perhaps his only escape. Having once experienced a back injury myself, I know all too well what an impact such an injury can have. I can only imagine how it is for someone almost 94 years old to confront such a prospect. Scratch that...unimaginable.

As I bode my farewell and exited the facility with pal Brian and Bart's niece, Brian made an observation about the human body resembling a car. After years of sustained performance, at some juncture the engine or some other factor compromises the machine and that's it. I don't believe he was making a statement restricting existence to the empirical realm. But regardless, it's a fitting metaphor for life. Everyone and everything here at some point, expires...dies. It's a sobering reminder that any day could be your last.

Just before heading home, I had a discussion with Bart's niece detailing some arrangements to be made involving Bart. As circumstances have clearly changed, Bart will no longer be residing at his apartment here in West Wildwood. As a result, his landlady has generously arranged until the end of the month for all of his belongings to be cleared out. Bart's niece will need some assistance in throwing out all of the furniture as such is in a somewhat sorry state. As for the remainder of Bart's personal effects, it will be up to Bart's niece, Brian, and myself to determine what to do with such.

One observation I have noted is that many of Bart's apparent longtime close friends and family have not paid him any visits or managed to contact him. Where are these people in his hour of need? Be assured, Bart gets plenty of visitors. But there are some conspicuous absences among them. For those jaded "realists", I don't care if Bart is an old man facing the inevitability of mortality. He needs all of the support and care he can get right now. I'm definitely taking names on this matter.

My fervent hope is for Bart to stage some sort of recovery and relocate to his older(!) sister's home in his former hometown of Prospect Park, PA. Franny is 100 and is also undergoing a convalescence of sorts, this after an accident that broke her arm. The only downside to this scenario is that Bart and his sister would require some sort of assistance and caretaking. Fortunately, he has a number of family members in the area willing and able to assist. But this will only take place if he recovers enough to be released.

With Bart in the absolute twilight of his life, it seems that a long and very protracted era is about to conclude. Despite Bart's elevated age, I know that when "that day" comes to pass, his passing will haunt me for a very long time. All I am asking is for a few more meaningful minutes and moments on the clock. If that's not asking too much.