Earlier today, familial obligation warranted the attendance of my cousin Becky's graduation party. Traditionally, I tend to have mixed emotions in regards to such matters. An unspoken law seems to define strict and unyielding parameters that makes participation in these functions compulsory. Or so it has been from the basis of my experience.
I enjoy "hob-nobbing" as much as anyone, and have had many memorable and favorable involvements with such functions. Sure, sometimes they can bore and exasperate - however, overall I have been spared these conditions. I find that in general, I really do savor an outlet to reconnect and mingle with family and friends when given the chance. There is something to be said for establishing and maintaining a connection in Life with others whom your path has crossed and intersected with. I am not advocating maintaining indefinite ties with everyone you have ever interacted with mind you - but a true connection with someone whom you find some semblance of affinity with is a vital and invigorating part of the human experience. My gleaned perspective, at least.
Family seems to constitute a mandatory bond of sorts. Sure, it's possible to disassociate oneself from a specific member or members - but that usually entails effort. A dynamic principle that I have found that appears to govern my family ties is that no matter how much time and space is brought into the mix, the connection endures and has great resiliency. Obviously, this can serve as a double edged sword - but I have been blessed with an outstanding and supportive extended family that apparently, is always eager to see me.
My cousin's graduation party solidified this precept, this as I found myself reunited with a number of relations not seen in almost 20 years. As a result of such, it was as if I was reintroduced to those whom I assumed I knew exceedingly well - only to discover as Gomer Pyle would state, "suhprize, suhprize, suhprize!". Sure, there was that ring of the familiar, the "knowing aspect". But the passage of time has added some extra dimensions to these personalities that added to who and what they are. The core self may remain static - but change is something that can add scaffolding and concrete to a structure (the personality) that is always under construction. Such is my insight.
From this get together, I discovered much that I was ignorant of in the lives of my cousins Tim and Joey. Having had very little or no contact with them over the last decade plus, I was astonished to what I had missed out on as well as to the persons they had become. Notably so was my cousin Joey, who greatly surprised me with his depth of character and very intelligent insights. The last I had seen of Joey, he was but a youngster of whom I had only a fleeting comprehension of. Time and space had placed us at the periphery from each other it seemed, with other family members as our only conduit. Such factors and scenario could easily foster a drift of sorts. But lo and behold, this social function brought us back together.
To state that it was refreshing to reconnect with Joey (as well as some other relatives including an aunt also) would be an understatement. Joey offered me some deep insights and very high praises in regards to whatever role I happened to play in his life. It takes a lot to shock me - but the genuine sentiment and accolades I received from him completely floored me.
Never in a quadrillion years would I have anticipated that I would have made the type of impression and impact Joey alleged me to have had. But it was without a doubt a positively emotional and very gratifying time. I don't always understand the how and why behind whatever (if) impact I manage to make on someone. But when I receive "feedback" on such matters as this, it is one of the most uplifting and vitalizing experiences to savor. And it has nothing to do with ego fulfillment at all. Joey, I am honored and blessed to have YOU (as well as practically everyone else) as someone I can consider family.
It seems as if I am learning a lesson in never underestimating the impact and importance of the role and catalyst you have in another's life. For some reason, I have seen this theme recurring throughout the past year or so in my own life. During my recent cross country "road trippin'", I managed to revisit a number of old friends (and make some new ones), reigniting connections that I had once thought dormant, dead, and expired. It seems these elements are impervious to time and space - IF we make an effort to sustain them.
Strong personal connections of any kind can be some of the most powerful and grounding influences we can experience. There is a definite energy to such. And as Einstein once observed and stated, energy can not be destroyed...only changed into another form. Sage words? Maybe. But tonight, I am happy to simply be alive.
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